The Cat Who Would be King

This is the introduction to a story of a species of very, very special felines.

There are 22 chapters to this story and more in the pipeline.

This is a vast departure from my normal or abnormal nonsense! 

Prologue

Proposing that a member of the feline species, called Siamese Goldens, could become a king, is of course, a totally ridiculous concept. The problem is the cats don’t know this, nobody’s told them! Frankly, most of the cats that I’ve ever come in contact with have given me the distinct impression that they were Royalty, at least in their minds. It’s not necessary to discuss this rationale to any great extent, but only to say that if you have been associated with a cat, then I’m sure you can equate to the concept of what might be called their predisposed disposition and nature.

In their thoughts and actions they have been ordained to be served — and find it totally unnecessary, even ridiculous, to reciprocate or even show their appreciation, except when they really want something, like food. Even that wouldn’t happen if they could learn how to use a can opener. This does sound like Royalty. Understand, this is not a condemnation, but a statement of fact. There are exceptions to this in-bred perception, but not many that have come to my attention.

It’s not clear why we bother to give them names. I have found very few that are responsive if you call them, and I know it’s not their hearing. I don’t know of too many that will fetch the morning paper, rollover or shake hands. Their thoughts on this skill set are likely, ”If you really wanted this kind of support, you should have gotten a dog!”

The historical events in this yarn actually occurred in the various countries visited by this story, however, timing of the actual events is not absolutely accurate. The human characters are, of course, fictional. However, they represent a compilation of the personalities that existed during these periods. Their individual attitudes reflect, for the most part, the point of view and policies of the countries they represented as best understood by today’s culture. The first gift of the Golden actually did occur, although a number of years later than when this story begins. The recipient was the head of the delegation from the United Kingdom in approximately 1890. He returned to London with the pair of cats, but neither lived for more than two years. There was no offspring. It was probably English cooking that got them. All that Yorkshire pudding and Plum Duff that cats love.

The story follows multiple generations of these cat over a sixty year period and their trial and tribulation with the world of homo-sapiens. These accounts are clearly fiction. A cat could never become a King — or could they?  Maybe someone should tell them this is not possible, but I doubt that it would have any effects whatsoever on their demeanor.

After all, the King of the jungle was not Tarzan!

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Excerpt from the book

Yvette was very accomplished at knitting and needlepoint and had brought with her adequate material. One afternoon, one of the kittens came proudly prancing into Yvonne’s room with a roll of yarn. Yvette came rushing into Yvonne’s room, furious with the cats and snatched the role of yarn from the playful kitten. She had discovered that they had invaded her room, and yarn was scattered throughout, yard after yard of tangled string. It took three servants most of the day to correct this minor catastrophe and put the material into a usable condition. From that day forward, the cats were not allowed in her rooms.

The servants’ house slippers were a particularly popular target. The kittens would lie in wait, and when the opportunity presented itself, they would attack. They never pounced on a singular basis, but always with a minimum of two. In some instances, all four would attack a single target. The servants would respond by attempting to kick the cats away, but this only added to the intrigue. They would duck and swerve and renew their attack from a different direction. Over time, this became something of a game, with the obvious winners being the Goldens.

The cook was one of their favorite victims because her size, which was rather rotund, limited her mobility. If she had a utensil readily available, it was often used as a weapon for defense, but this did not seem to discourage the feline participants in this game. The attacks became more sophisticated, and clearly there was some long-range feline planning involved. The most successful method is best described as hit and run. This attack required all four kittens to initiate a simultaneous pouncing at the feet of the recipient from different areas, and then quickly retreat to some chosen sanctuary. It caused instantaneous panic on the part of the unsuspecting target. More than one dish had been broken due to unforeseen sneak attacks. There were mixed views of this playful activity on the part of the servants.

Yvette was getting secondhand reports from the interpreter about the vicious, demonic Goldens harassing staff and made it clear to Yvette that something must be done. She had no suggestions as to what, and left this required solution of the problem to Yvonne, who attempted to curtail this activity by making small toys and providing discarded shoes. This distracted the cats for a while, but they discovered that there was more pleasure in causing general mayhem with the servants. As the Goldens grew, the games diminished, much to the relief of the cook and household staff.

De Savory returned to Hong Kong just prior to the family’s scheduled departure for Peking and their new home in the recently constructed International Settlement. This conclave was established as part of a treaty ending the second Opium War; however this was a temporary agreement, and a permanent location was part of the overall current negotiations. The fact was that the Chinese wanted the “foreign devil” isolated as a method to control the European delegations. De Savory was greeted by the usual family issues as well as by four cats that, in his opinion, had taken over the household.

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